Arts & Entertainment

The Naked City – ‘Sky News – The Musical

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As the dazzling lights of Vivid stun our sensibilities, anaesthetising us from the daily grind and the relentless march of Covid, it’s time to shut down the LED driven euphoria and look to a future that few dare predict. Not of course if you are Sky News’ Rowan Dean who made this audacious Amazing Criswell style prediction following the Liberals’ shock decimation at the recent Federal election.

“Personally I can’t wait, mmm, check my diary, early 2025, put it in your diary too, Donald Trump will be sworn in as the next US President or Ron DeSantis and a few weeks later Peter Dutton and the Liberals will be swept into power following three disastrous and incompetent years of a Teal’s led Labor Government where Parliament obsesses over woke identity politics, climate and indigenous issues as the economy grinds to a halt…blah, blah, blah.”

Well many thanks for the tipoff  Rowan, I have already snapped up the juicy odds at Sportsbet for a Trump/Dutton victory in 2025 and hope you have done the same. Naturally, most of the crew at Sky News and the Murdoch press, in general, were shell shocked after the Labor victory and the success of the Greens and independents. They campaigned relentlessly against them in the weeks leading up to election day and expect a similar, if not greater hostility in the three years to come.

At the moment it’s a honeymoon period, for at least the newspaper arm of News Corp, despite six weeks of Albo bashing on the part of the Daily Telegraph and Herald-Sun. Not so with a number of the commentators at Sky News, whose daggers have always been firmly implanted in anything or anybody perceived as a leftist threat. If Rowan Dean is to be believed, their mission over the next three years will be primarily to have the Labor government removed, the Teal independents killed off and Peter Dutton installed as the saviour of us all.

The re-election of Trump, aged almost eighty, in 2025 would provide a real synergy for a Dutton victory, according to Dean. Trump’s recent appearance at the NRA convention, following the Texas school massacre, must have been a reassurance to those at Fox and Sky News who have been his most fervent media supporters. They would have applauded when he trotted out the old chestnut “The Only Thing That Stops A Bad Guy With A Gun Is A Good Guy With A Gun” when common sense tells us “The Only Thing That Stops A Bad Guy With A Gun” is not to give the deranged fucker one in the first place!

A divergence of opinion is always welcome in a democracy like Australia as long as it does not degenerate into hate speech or blatant misinformation. Without sounding patronising, the intelligence of the public should not be underestimated if the results of the recent election are any indication. The relentless sing-song attack adverts like “It won’t be easy under Albanese,” which the Coalition ran incessantly, along with Clive Palmer’s multi-million dollar spend, seem to have had little effect when it came to winning voters.

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Whilst not everybody has access to Sky News and it’s hard to judge their total viewing audience, the comments made by their more outspoken presenters are widely reported and regularly posted on YouTube and Twitter. Personally, I feel there is much they could do to soften their hardcore, highly opinionated, right-wing image and what better way than staging their very own ‘Sky News – The Musical’.

If Rowan Dean’s prediction of a Dutton/Trump triumph is to eventuate then 2025 would be the ideal time to unleash such a production, maybe even at the Sydney Opera House as part of Vivid. Labor have already had their moment of glory on the musical stage with ‘Keating The Musical’ but the Sky News version would not only feature its biggest stars like Dean, Paul Murray, Andrew Bolt and Peta Credlin (possibly even playing themselves) but numerous cameos from Craig Kelly, Ross Cameron, Alan Jones and Mark Latham.

I’m thinking of a shameless appropriation of David Williamson’s ‘Don’s Party’ as the Sky faithful gather on election night in an all-singing, all-dancing spectacular. Rather than compose a whole bunch of new songs, the show would be ‘jukebox style’ with classics like ‘We’re Not Gonna Take It’ (Clive can pay the royalties again), ‘I Did It My Way’ (the Sid Vicious version sung by Mark Latham) and ‘Everybody’s A Victim’ (the old Proclaimers hit sung by Andrew Bolt). Let’s keep the actual ending a surprise but I would love to see a rejuvenated Alan Jones, lead not only the entire cast but a full house in the Concert Hall with a rousing encore rendition of ‘Never Mind The Bollocks’!

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