THE NAKED CITY – NUEVO MONDO LINGO – MATE!
Image: Stacey Dowson
Traditionally speaking, Australians always have congratulated themselves on the number of good old slang words and expressions that pepper our vocabulary. So when the Oxford Dictionary announces that it will be adding a couple of hundred well worn ‘Aussie’ venacularisms to their Australian Dictionary online, it’s a real cause for celebration.
Words such as ‘saltie’ (a salt water crododile), ‘mugaccino’ (a large cappuccino), ‘sanger’ (a sausage) and ‘shornie’ (a newly shorn sheep) have joined colourful phrases like “dry as dry as a dead dingo’s donger” in what will eventually be a collection of some 2,000 words, definitions and phrases supposedly unique to Australian English. Whilst we view these dinky di expressions as very much a part of our cultural heritage, compared to other countries our lexicon of jargon is not all that expansive. Check out the Urban Dictionary on line and you’ll soon see that the ‘Yanks’ have a myriad of vibrant and at times highly questionable slang words, numbering well into the hundreds of thousands.
Part of the problem here in matching our American cousins (from whom a lot of current slang is appropriated anyway), is our failure to embrace the rich treasure house of multicultural slang that millions of immigrants have brought to this country. Most of it remains closeted in languages such as Greek, Italian, Vietnamese and Arabic, all which are rich in their own lively slang terms and quirky phrases. There’s been little crossover into the broader Auspeak, unlike America where for example Italian, Latino and Afro-American slang are major contributors to the broader tongue.
There’s also the problem that much of our colourful language is being lost to a generation that embraces the monosyllabic world of texting, twitter and social media in general – not to mention those wretched ‘click on me’ online news feeds. With this in mind we dutifully suggest a selection of creative new and rekindled Australianisms to counter the onslaught of the nouveau illiteracy.
PAINTING THE PAVEMENT WITH A PRO HART: A variation of the original “Painting The Pavement With A Picasso” which described the type of mess you make when you regurgitate a kebab or two on Darlinghurst Road in the early hours of the morning. Who could forget those great action paintings perpetrated by the late Pro Hart, many of which resembled a glorious technicolour chunder.
LIKE LEAVING THE PORCH LIGHT ON FOR HAROLD HOLT: The legendary Rugby League coach Jack Gibson is credited with this immortal description of all things futile and overly optimistic.
AN ICE BLOCK: A block of public housing apartments which houses a number of drug dealers selling predominantly ‘ice’.
THE WIBBLY WOBBLIES: Either a new dance craze or something Mathias Corman attributed to Bill Shorten.
CHUCKING A CLOVER: When somebody decides to spend an outrageous amount of money on a grossly ostentatious party or celebration.
BACK OF THE BOURKE STREET BICYCLE PATH: A phrase to describe an area so remote, desolate and devoid of humans that it could almost be on Mars.
POKIES: No longer a gambling reference, but now a term for those thousands of mindless office workers who chase Pokermons during their lunch hour.
MORTON BAY BUG: More likely to be something planted by ASIO than a lobster from Queensland.
GONE TO GILLIGANS: An obvious reference to that grassy patch in Taylor Square where many an afternoon has been spent sleeping it off after one too many visits to the Courthouse bottleshop. These days it could describe an extended nap or period of somewhat blissful disorientation.
And finally, forget about that bloody “Dead Dingo’s Donger” – the new catchphrase is:
AS DRY AS A DISHLICKERS DOGGIE DISH: When Greyhound Racing in NSW finishes next year there’ll be no more Pal or even possum in the racing dog’s food bowl.
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