THE NAKED CITY – PLAN YOUR ELECTION PARTY NOW!

With the current marathon Federal Election campaign now drearingly edging past the half way mark, maybe it’s time to consider just what you will be doing on election night. For many of us it will just be bums in front of the TV, wildly switiching from channel to channel to check the latest observations from the various panels of political pundits and assorted pollies. If the result is done and dusted by 8pm, as it sometimes is, you could well be switching to a DVD or Netflix.

Those with a more creative flair and a deeper passion for politics might well consider a party. After all, each Federal Election marks a milestone in Australian politics, a vital cog in our system of democracy, and it’s something we should all celebrate. Many will remember the ground breaking Australian movie and stage play Don’s Party, where an election night gathering in 1969 was the catalyst for an alcohol fuelled explosion of suburban roulette.

That’s certainly one scenario that could be hit on if you are planning a barbie or dinner party for the night. Assign your guests a particular character from the original movie, briefed with a DVD of the movie beforehand, and let the roleplay unfold. Discreet “swingers parties” are still a staple on the Sydney social scene and the unleashing of sexual tension (albeit strictly to the script) could provide for some genuine hot and steamy moments. Who care’s what the election result is when all the action is on the waterbed?

For those with a more serious interest in politics and the diversity of political opinion, you might consider stacking your party with punters of all political persuasions. If you are a die hard socialist it might seem ridiculous inviting somebody from the Liberal Party, let alone One Nation or Reclaim Australia, but you have to admit the communal mix would be lively, especially if the result got down to a handful of votes or if Pauline Hanson looked likely to win a Senate seat. A bit of old style argy bargy would be inevitable, and you would need to employ some non-politically aligned security for the night, mainly to keep the Reclaim Australian mob from hogging the music with their AC/DC and Cold Chisel albums.

If political apathy is your bag, and you have been known to scribble obscenities on your ballot paper, then a totally ‘informal’ election party might be the fit for you and your friends. Togas could be fun or even Snuggies if the weather is a bit on the chilly side, but if your house is centrally heated why not go totally nude? The juxtaposition of a gratuitous display of wobbly bits in front of the ABC’s election panel would be a fitting comment on the way many Australians view the democratic process. A collective “mooning” of the eventual winner, Mal or Bill, at the end of the evening, would be the icing on the cake.

Whatever the result is on July 2, it’s unlikely we’ll see anything like the celebrations when Obama was first elected, or the possible nationwide riot should the grotesque eventuate and Donald Trump becomes President… The chances are many Australians will not even watch the election unfold on national TV and the result for them will only become known when they pick up the Sunday paper. If punters can party for Eurovision or even the Triple J Hottest 100, then surely an event as momentous as a history making Federal Election demands a slab of beer, a tray of party pies and an unlimited supply of Cheezels!