Arts & Entertainment

Naked City: Take the Individual Test!

 

‘Individualism’ can be defined as both a moral stance and ideology as well as the quality of being an individual i.e. standing out from that amorphous mass of fellow humans sometimes referred to as the mob. These days achieving individuality in a society dominated by technology and media enforced social mores is becoming increasingly difficult.

Turn your back on the modern digital world and you’ll be labelled a luddite, refuse to act out on Facebook and Twitter and you’ll be branded a social outcast, and horror of all horrors, if you don’t have an email address, then you simply don’t exist.

Here at the Naked City we have devised a quick five-minute test for you to determine whether you can really claim a degree of individualism that sets you apart from the baying, bleating herd. Grab a calculator and keep a running total. If you get to the end of the test with a better than minus score, then you can truly say, just like Jacko once did – “I’m an individual”.

1. You can’t wait to buy the new iPhone 6 (lose 10 points)

2. You have never set foot in The Star casino (gain 10 points)

3. You illegally downloaded Crown Of Thorns (lose 5 points)

4. You are one of Shane Warne’s 1.67 million Twitter followers (lose 20 points)

5. Your own any Coldplay album (lose 5 points)

6. You actually read Fifty Shades of Grey cover to cover (lose 20 points)

7. You just flicked through Fifty Shades Of Grey at Coles or Woolworths to check the titillating bits (lose 5 points)

8. You have never watched X-Factor, Masterchef or Australia’s Got Talent (gain 20 points)

9. You have more than five Facebook friends (lose 10 points)

10. You have no Facebook friends (gain 20 points)

11. In the past twelve months you have not grown a Ned Kelly beard, tattooed an entire arm or pierced any part of your body (gain 10 points)

12. You purchased any of the following items in the last two years – a Kindle, a pair of skinny jeans, a bottle of Coconut water, an iTunes download of any Coldplay song (lose 10 points)

13. You queued for three or four hours to watch the NYE fireworks (lose 10 points)

14. You have never eaten McDonalds, Hungry Jacks or KFC (gain 20 points)

15. You get all your news from news.com.au (lose 10 points)

16. The last video game you ever played was Star Invaders (gain 10 points)

17. The only apple you have ever purchased in the CBD is from a fruit barrow (gain five points)

18. You have never downloaded an app (gain 10 points).

19. The only designer sneakers you ever owned were the all black Heaven’s Gate Nikes (gain 10 points) 

20. You have never googled your own name (gain 10 points)

So how did you go? Don’t be too disappointed if you finished with minus figures. We are nearly all creatures of the flock in one way or another. On the other hand if you finished with plus points to spare, maybe it’s time you took a good look at yourself and stopped being so goddamned aloof. Time to get in that chatroom, shed your inhibitions, embrace your fellow humans and LOL!

THE HIT LIST: Sally King has long been one of Sydney’s finest soul and blues singers, fronting bands such as The Champions and The Mustangs. Catch King with her own hot combo, Sametribe, featuring Paul Berton on guitar September 18 at the community run Petersham Bowling Club from 7.30pm for the ridiculously low cover of only $5 and with not a poker machine in sight. King is not only celebrating her own birthday milestone but it’s the anniversary of the death of Jimi Hendrix, so expect a suitable tribute amongst the set list.

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