NEW YEAR’S EVE

Dear Michelle Pfieffer, Zac Efron, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Seth Myers, Sarah Paulson, Til Schweiger, Katherine Heigl, Lea Michele, Ashton Kutcher, Jon Bon Jovi, Sophia Vergara, James Belushi, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Josh Duhamel, Hilary Swank, Ryan Seacrest, Ludacris, Matthew Broderick, Hector Elizondo, and Alyssa Milano. No matter what sum of money you received to appear in Garry Valentine’s Day Marshall’s latest holiday fluff-fest New Year’s Eve – it was not worth it. For some of you, this will tarnish your otherwise respectable – even admirable – careers (De Niro et al, I’m looking at you). As for the rest of you, repeat after me: my films should have a plot, my character should have some semblance of motive, and (in the case of comedy), scripts should make me laugh. Yours, etc. (KB) 0.5 stars