Two With A View – Portrait Of A Lady On Fire
By Rita Bratovich & Mark Morellini
RITA: So Mark… how gorgeous was that film. Subtle, delicate, sensitive.
MARK: yes…all of the above… a lavish production and it can’t be denied that it was beautifully crafted, with a gorgeous cast of predominantly women, very meticulous to detail and mesmerising cinematography… but ultimately I found it somewhat underwhelming… is it the masterpiece that it has been described as??
RITA: If Andy Warhol’s copy and paste of Campbell soup tins can be called a masterpiece, then yes.
MARK: …meaning… did you enjoy the film???
RITA: Well, derr! What’s not to love? Girl meets girl. Girl paints girl. Girl’s dress catches fire. Girl and girl have sex and then help another girl have an abortion. It’s got everything! Granted, it’s not fast-paced, edge of your seat kind of stuff.
MARK: Yeah! right! Did I enjoy the film??? Perhaps if I enjoyed watching two-hour television commercials for over-priced luxury soaps I would have, which is what this overly-rated film seemed like… the smoke has clouded your judgement…
RITA: Ahh, what happened between your first comment and now, Dr Jekyll? “a lavish production and it can’t be denied that it was beautifully crafted, with a gorgeous cast of predominantly women, very meticulous to detail and mesmerising cinematography.”
MARK: Yes… the film moved at a snail’s pace and the complete omission of a musical score compounded to the sheer boredom…
MARK: yes that’s right.. .but I’m now telling you what I disliked about this film… as it’s a hit and miss…
RITA: The omission of a score added to the sense of solitude. It accentuated the moments of music when they did occur.
RITA: That choral piece by the women around the fire was incredible!
RITA: Not to mention that punctuating moment when somebody’s phone rang!
RITA: What’s wrong? Did the movie slow down your brain?
MARK: Beg to differ… a musical score would have made it a far superior film… and yes I have to agree that the choral piece around the fire was inventive… twas, not my phone…
RITA: Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds didn’t have a musical score. There are many classics that didn’t. A good score is about what you use and how you use it, and that includes silence.
RITA: I know you love your “Sound Of Music sing-alongs” but not all films have to be like that.
MARK: Honestly… this is a critic’s film… all critics will give it five stars I’m sure but the question which needs to be asked is it a film for the general population? Cinephiles who enjoy arty-farty cinema with definitely enjoy this film… but others would steer away… let’s take a close look at some box office figures… the film earned a poultry US$67,000 in the US and $3 Million in seven other markets… hardly made a ripple…
MARK: ….those who enjoy painting will also probably be delighted…
MARK: …audiences will be suffocated by the immense passion of this film… especially incurably romantic Lesbian audiences…
RITA: Oh I agree it won’t be a blockbuster. But popularity has nothing to do with quality. Look at McDonald’s. This is a film made for discerning, intelligent, sensitive, artistic people… aah. Now I see why you didn’t like it.
RITA: Immense passion? Really? The romance only occurred in the last third and I’d hardly call it suffocating.
RITA: You need to get out more.
RITA: I’ve seen Disney films with steamier sex scenes.
RITA: They were wildlife documentaries, but still.
MARK: ah! ah! I’m sure producers of this film would regardlessly have been thrilled had this film earned $100 million… after all, film making is a business… is it not??
RITA: Thank God not everyone thinks so or we’d be cursed with mindless trash that have endless sequels.
MARK: hang on… you weren’t consumed by the passion between these two women… did you watch the same film as me???
RITA: I was definitely into it! There wasn’t enough of it, though.
MARK: I felt their passion within 20 minutes… to each their own… your own I mean… haha
RITA: There was sexual tension for sure.
RITA: Not the same as passion.
RITA: Is this getting too sophisticated for you?
MARK: NOT ENOUGH!!!! KIDDING RIGHT!! When the portrait had been completed I packed my notes and pencil into my manbag and thought beauty the film’s over… then the artist says “Na don’t like it! I’ll paint it again!! NO!! I had to unpack my man bag pull out my notepad and continue watching this tedious film….which compared to watching the weeds grow in my backyard… hang on… that would have been a far more fulfilling exercise!!!
RITA: I imagine you have trouble growing anything BUT weeds! That’s when things got rolling – after she destroyed the first painting.
MARK: No I don’t have a problem with sex in a film… there was no graphic sex, just nudity….and it was vital to the story and anyways you knew there would be nudity at the very least… I mean it was a French film after all!! haha
MARK: …..and what the hell… hairy armpits were exposed during one of those love scenes!!! Didn’t women use electric shavers in that era??!! haha
RITA: It’s a beautiful period piece (late 1800s?) told in flashback. Simple, elegant. Three main characters who work together well. Plus the mum who I thought was wonderful. Stunning rugged seaside location. Great attention to detail. Interesting use of lighting.
RITA: And no, women didn’t shave back then. It was the first wave of feminism!
RITA: I’m giving it four stars.
MARK: “Like sands through the hourglass”… so were the days of their brief encounter… Tediously slow… GET ME OUT!!!… ladies don’t take your men to see it… they’ll be out in 15 minutes down the pub having a beer or two or three… actually ladies steer away from this one… take the man in your life to watch the latest Marvel flick… at least you’ll both spend some quality time together watching and enjoying a flick together… I’m giving it 2.5 stars from 5… and that’s because of the unbridled beauty of the leading ladies.
RITA: Ladies, take your ladies to see this!
