Feline low in Darlo

Feline low in Darlo

BY WILL FOURNIER

If you live in Darlinghurst, you might want to keep your cats inside at night.  There is a gruesome rumour circulating among locals of an old man stalking and killing the furry felines.  Darlinghurst resident Anna hasn’t seen her cat Lenin in a month.  “You should’ve seen me this morning,” she said, “I was bawling my eyes out”. 

In the regular course of things, cats do go missing quite often.  A spokesperson for the Sydney Dogs and Cats Home told the City Hub that in any given year they will rehome around 1,000 cats who have either run away from home, or not been compatible with their human family. 

“Based on our experience and observations in rehoming we know each cat has its own unique personality,” the spokesperson said. 

“Some cats are highly independent, and others are very social enjoying the company of other cats, humans and even other domesticated species.”

That said, residents suspect foul play is involved in the disappearance of their dear kitties.

With more than 10 cats going missing in Darlinghurst over the last month, locals report as a person of interest a man in his mid-seventies, who has been observed skulking around at night, interacting strangely with anything feline.  For some, the obvious answer may be for residents to simply keep their cats inside.

Others say cats require both mental and physical exercise and experience of the great outdoors to lead a fulfilling life.  An outdoor enclosure might be a compromise to keep cats safe from marauding pussy murderers.

A spokesperson from Cat Protection Society said that “of course there are always people with bad intentions”.

While the spokesperson believed the existence of a ‘Jack the Cat Ripper’ was a possibility, it didn’t seem like there was anything the Society could do about it.

“If you have a problem, you should call the RSPCA, or the police,” the spokesperson said.   

Senior Constable Sam Donna, from the local police command in Kings Cross said there wasn’t anything to be concerned about, “Missing cats aren’t too common in Darlinghurst”.

According to Anna, the Darlinghurst cat killer is real.

“Look at his eyes,” she said pointing to a picture of her black cat, Lenin, “isn’t he the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen?”

“People [see the flyers and] call me and I get so excited,” Anna said.

“But people just call me to ask if I’ve found Lenin…it kind of restores your faith in human beings, when people see a flyer and call you and tearfully ask, ‘have you found your cat?’”

Anna is only one of the locals whose pets have gone missing in Darlinghurst who believe dark forces are responsible.

“It just doesn’t add up,” said one bereft cat owner. “Coco loved her home, she never would have run away.”

Until the mystery is solved, cat-loving elderly gentlemen of the inner east may want to refrain from petting any kitties on the street, lest they be mistaken for the killer.

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